Tuesday, September 6, 2016

"I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"

Over the weekend, I was able to get in an interval workout on the treadmill (2 minute walk, 1 minute jog for 30 minutes) - and it was awesome. My lungs and knees were fine the whole time. I feel like the only limiting factor was my pelvis and lower back which still haven't quite returned to normal after having the little man. I find this really encouraging - like maybe I didn't really lose every scrap of fitness I've ever had. Now I just need to figure out how to get in some treadmill workouts before work without waking up the whole household. Any suggestions?

The other bits of our weekend were part amazing, and part awful. It was so amazing to have four days off in a row to spend with the fella and the little one. I thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it. There were a couple of crying fits that tested the bounds of my mama-zen, but those were pretty limited and I mostly soaked up every second of smiley, giggly baby goodness that I could. He definitely makes my heart happy.

The awful bits came in the form of financial stress. I wrote previously about my husband's prolonged health issues, which have prevented him from working for the last four years. We are very fortunate that my job has been enough to keep our heads above water, but things have been really tight for a long time and lately it feels like we've gotten dunked under the surface a few times. We thought we were going to get a little bit of breathing room by refinancing our house and pulling out some cash to pay off the credit card and lower our mortgage payment as well. Unfortunately, the VA decided that Cody isn't eligible for a VA mortgage, so we had to look at a different route that wasn't nearly as good, but was still a slight improvement. Now it's looking like that isn't going to pan out either. Long story short - there is not light at the end of the tunnel...just more tunnel.

I am trying to stay positive and focus on all of the wonderful things we have in our life, but I am definitely struggling lately. I find myself being angry at the world and I don't want to be that person. I truly believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle... but I feel like the end of my rapidly-fraying rope is getting mighty slippery. I guess all I can do is keep praying for patience and the ability to deal with everything in the best way possible.  

I would love to hear from folks that have come through hard times. Any advice?

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