Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Unexpected Aspects of Parenthood

First of all, I will report that day three of PT exercises in the morning is going well. I did cut out my last 15 minute walk yesterday because my pelvis was hurting. It is so hard not to just muscle through and do it anyway because I want progress NOW. I hope I'm not overcompensating and taking it too easy. Patience is the order of the day. I just have to try what I'm doing now for a couple of weeks and then reevaluate.

By the way, I created a page for "Pregnancy" that has some notes about my pregnancy and the accompanying birth story - so check it out if you're so inclined.

As I was writing things out, it made me think about being a parent and how some things are different than I thought they'd be. Here are a few:

I'm someone's mother. Okay, obviously I knew this was going to happen. I had nine months to prepare for it right? I thought about having a baby and loving it and all of the warm fuzzy feelings you have when you're expecting your first child. But - dude, I'm someone's mother. I will say things to S like, "Are you smiling at Momma?" but when someone calls me a parent, it is a bit of a shock to the system.  
 I am far more emotional about other people's kids. The other day, in the grocery store, someone had a small child (around two-ish?) in the cart and he was crying and reaching for his mom while she was trying to pay. In the past, I might have been sympathetic, but a little annoyed  - I mean, the child was clearly not in any danger, he just wanted to be held. Now, I wanted to go over and scoop him up ( I wouldn't, of course - people get arrested for that). I felt like I wanted to cry and was very anxious to get home and snuggle my baby.

I'm ornerier (is that a word?). I asked my mom when she transitioned into feeling like a grown-up, and she said when she had kids. I totally get what she means. Apparently being responsible for keeping a tiny human alive has given me the gumption to not feel shy about speaking up for myself and my family. I suddenly don't feel shy about questioning my husband's new doctor when she hasn't reviewed his test results, and I would not hesitate to go mama bear on anyone that even looked at my baby cross-eyed.

I want to be home all the time. I used to think I could never be a stay a home mom because I'd go crazy. Now I know that's not the case. It is almost physically painful to leave him in the mornings and I want to be present for his every expression.

Babies are expensive. Yes, logically I know this. When we were planning to have a baby, I knew finances were a bit tight, but I assumed I would be able to breast feed and cut down on costs. Nope. S never took to nursing and my supply dwindled quickly. Holy crap, formula is expensive!   

Baby smiles fix everything. No matter how stressed out or irritated I am, one little gummy smile immediately makes my heart happy. One night, S was really fussy and I was trying to change his diaper (at 2 am) and he was fussing and flailing and I was trying to figure out the complex oragami of snaps on baby pajamas without turning on the light. I wanted to yell in frustration, but then S looked up at me and smiled, and just like that - everything was fine. I didn't care that I was exhausted, or that his chubby little baby legs kept flailing out of his footy pajamas. It was totally worth it. **I think this is some sort of evolutionary self-defense mechanism that babies have developed.

I love to watch other people with my baby. I thought I might feel possessive and not want other people to hold S, but it makes me so happy to see my family fall in love with him too. I love to hand him over to my sister or mom and see their faces light up. I love that he flaps his little arms when he sees someone familiar.
S with my dad aka "Nonny"
 I'm sure there are a million other things, but these are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

Parents - what are some things that surprised you about having kids?


  1. Great post! Even as a dad, we get a lot of these same feelings. When I've had a rough day, the kids laughing and having fun takes it all away. Reminds me why God put me here, to love and appreciate these kids.

    1. Thanks! I might have to see if my fella would do a guest post with his list.

  2. Surprises. So many. When you don't think it is possible to feel more love, you have a baby and it just bowls you over. It is a love so complete and so intense. And dear girl, it doesn't change when they grow up! <3