I have to start out by saying that my wonderful husband fixed my treadmill last night. He's the best! I'm not gonna lie, I was a little nervous when he started ripping the belt (yes, ripping). I'll explain in a minute.
So, I've had a rough couple of days - which you may have picked up on in yesterday's post. I've been struggling with depression and stress and have been very short-tempered (sorry loved ones!), and feeling like I've turned into some horrible person that's angry at the world. I finally realized that part of the problem is that I don't have an outlet for my stress. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing support system that will let me vent at a moment's notice and would help with anything they can, but sometimes you've talked it to death and there is nothing left to say. Sometimes you just need a run.
I came to this conclusion on Sunday night so Cody informed me that we were going to fix my treadmill as soon as he picked me up from the bus stop after work. I then (tearfully - I mentioned the depression, right?) proceeded to explain that that wouldn't work because:
1) I had to cook dinner when we got home.
2) Immediately after eating dinner, I have to soak up all the baby snuggles I can before the little man falls asleep - this can be a very slim window and there are tears involved (mine) if I miss my snuggle time after being at work all day.
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Sometimes Most of the time, when I am really depressed, I tend to get really pessimistic and everything seems impossible.
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Wow. Different eCard, same runner. |
Because my fella knows this about me, he was prepared with a rebuttal:
1) We can afford ONE night of McDonald's.
2) We are taking the little man downstairs with us and
you are going to snuggle him while
I fix your treadmill. Boom - lawyered.
So that's exactly what we did. As soon as we got home, I changed into running clothes and bundled up the little dude and we all went downstairs. Little man and I settled in to my comfy chair and watched Cody work.
He loosened the belt, flipped it back, and tightened things back up. Then he turned it on and about 10 seconds later, the belt flipped again. He repeated the steps, working the belt a little to the right to try and keep things from catching - but the exact same thing happened again. I was starting to think we wouldn't be able to fix it (feeling pessimistic, remember?) when he looked up at me and said, "do you mind if I trim the belt?" My mama bear instinct kicked in on behalf of my beloved treadmill, but since the next step would likely be replacing the belt anyway, I told him to go ahead.
He made a snip - with nail clippers because the scissors were upstairs and he gets a strange enjoyment from making things work - and then started
ripping the edge off. He only took off about 3/8 of an inch and because it ripped along the weave of the belt, it is perfectly straight and you can't even tell. I have to give him credit - he fixed my treadmill with an Allen wrench and nail clippers. Well done, sir.
So, I hopped on to check the tension and make some final adjustments... and then... I went for a run!!! "Run" might be a bit generous, but I got sweaty and out of breath and it was amazing. I made myself stop after 20 minutes to see how my back would hold up, but things felt pretty good. I did one minute walk/one minute jog intervals. My back did tighten up after I sat for a bit, but it feels fine this morning.
I'm pretty sure I was grinning like an idiot the rest of the evening. I slept like a rock (with a minor 3 am baby wake-up) and actually feel well-rested this morning. I can't remember the last time I felt well-rested. I also feel like someone took the chaos in my head and shook it so that things settled into neater stacks of manageable issues.
I'd almost forgotten how much of a relief running can be. Running has a way of draining away all of my irritation, frustration, anger at the injustices of the world, or fears that I'm not doing all that I could/should be doing. It makes me feel like a better, more patient, happier version of myself.
I told Cody this morning how much better and well-rested I feel, ending with, "treadmills fix everything. Maybe if I run hard enough, money will start to come out, too."
Lastly, I will leave you with a picture from one of my indoor walks last week because I didn't take any pictures of the events listed above.
Happy Tuesday!!!