"I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"

Over the weekend, I was able to get in an interval workout on the treadmill (2 minute walk, 1 minute jog for 30 minutes) - and it was awesome. My lungs and knees were fine the whole time. I feel like the only limiting factor was my pelvis and lower back which still haven't quite returned to normal after having the little man. I find this really encouraging - like maybe I didn't really lose every scrap of fitness I've ever had. Now I just need to figure out how to get in some treadmill workouts before work without waking up the whole household. Any suggestions?

The other bits of our weekend were part amazing, and part awful. It was so amazing to have four days off in a row to spend with the fella and the little one. I thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it. There were a couple of crying fits that tested the bounds of my mama-zen, but those were pretty limited and I mostly soaked up every second of smiley, giggly baby goodness that I could. He definitely makes my heart happy.

The awful bits came in the form of financial stress. I wrote previously about my husband's prolonged health issues, which have prevented him from working for the last four years. We are very fortunate that my job has been enough to keep our heads above water, but things have been really tight for a long time and lately it feels like we've gotten dunked under the surface a few times. We thought we were going to get a little bit of breathing room by refinancing our house and pulling out some cash to pay off the credit card and lower our mortgage payment as well. Unfortunately, the VA decided that Cody isn't eligible for a VA mortgage, so we had to look at a different route that wasn't nearly as good, but was still a slight improvement. Now it's looking like that isn't going to pan out either. Long story short - there is not light at the end of the tunnel...just more tunnel.

I am trying to stay positive and focus on all of the wonderful things we have in our life, but I am definitely struggling lately. I find myself being angry at the world and I don't want to be that person. I truly believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle... but I feel like the end of my rapidly-fraying rope is getting mighty slippery. I guess all I can do is keep praying for patience and the ability to deal with everything in the best way possible.  

I would love to hear from folks that have come through hard times. Any advice?

Getting Ready for the Weekend

It's funny how much I look forward to the weekends now. Don't get me wrong - I've always enjoyed the weekend, but now that I've got the little one waiting at home, every Thursday afternoon is filled with excitement akin to what I felt as a kid on Christmas Eve. People at work ask if I have any big plans. Plans? Not in the traditional sense. I plan to spend every waking minute with our new tiny human and try to make him laugh, and watch every shift in expression with wonder. But since people don't typically appreciate this level of sentimentality, I usually say "nothing much."

Fitness report: I've been walking for a total of one hour at work, four days a week. Since last weekend's intervals went so well, I plan to try two sessions this weekend and see how it feels. If things go well, I might try and figure out how to fit in a couple of treadmill sessions before work next week.

View during my walks at work.

Weight-loss report: Since starting on July 6th, I've lost a total of 18 pounds. This week hasn't been great. I've played things a little fast and loose with the snack food and have had pretty minuscule calorie deficits so far. I need to pull things together before the weekend so I make sure to see a loss this week. I'll let you know how it goes. I plan to do a post this weekend to discuss my weight-loss plan and philosophies.

Life report: A couple of friends from out of town have been visiting and I met up with them at their hotel and took the tiny one swimming for the first time. He wasn't quite sure at first if he liked it, but he came around and seemed to particularly enjoy watching everyone else swim. One of my friends had her one year old with her and it was pretty cute to watch the two interact. With all the ladies constantly cooing over him, I think little S is going to be quite the ladies man when he grows up.

After swimming, we hung out in their room and visited for a bit and I got to meet my friend's Scottish Terrier, Murdoch. I'm pretty sure if he could talk, he would totally sound like Sean Connery. He was pretty stinkin' adorable. Of course, bestowing affection on another canine earned me some pretty serious censure from Lola when we got home, but once S and I passed her thorough sniff-inspection, all was forgiven and she settled in my lap for the remainder of the evening.

Until next time, friends.

 

REAAALLLY Long Time, No Blog

Well, a lot has happened since my last post: I ran my marathon (Woo and Hoo! - totally planning on doing that again), took a break from running (leading to an unfortunate weight gain), went through a stressful, painful pregnancy, and now have the most beautiful baby boy in the world.

 

In all of that, my running kind of fell by the wayside and I haven't really felt "worthy" of posting on my self-described "running" blog. But, hey - we're all human, right? I figure if I can show that it's possible to go from marathon runner, to morbidly obese, back to marathon runner - maybe it can inspire others to do the same. Plus, writing about progress is an awesome way to stay motivated and hold myself accountable.

I will say, taking a break from running has been one of my more foolish choices in life. When you get used to eating the number of calories required for marathon training... and then stop running... Let's just say it's not good, folks. My weight reached an unbelievably scary number during pregnancy and even after losing 30 pounds in the first two weeks postpartum, I found myself staring at a 112 pound weight loss to get me back to where is was in my last blog post. Scary...and embarrassing.

Two days postpartum...reality check.

One of the worst things about weighing just north of 300 pounds is that running on my already bad knees has had to be postponed. As my weight crept up, running (naturally) got more and more difficult and painful. Then, when I got pregnant, my normally loose joints were loosened painfully-further by pregnancy, which made walking even short distances extremely painful. This combined with a month of bed rest lead to my longest period of inactivity in my life and an all-time fitness low.

Now I'm back at square one and I've had to do the unthinkable and embrace walking (gasp!). My little man is four months old and I've worked up to walking about 15 miles a week. My pelvis and lower back have finally started to return to normal and I can start working toward becoming a runner once more. I did my first interval jog (I hate to use that word, but you couldn't really call it anything else) last weekend and I think I had a big stupid grin on my face the whole time.

Just after my little dude was born, I was hormonal and stressed, and freaking out that maybe we couldn't do the whole parent thing and I told my husband in between sobs that I needed to go for a run, but couldn't. Running has been my stress release, my outlet, and my safe place for years. I am going to focus on remembering that as I struggle to regain what I've lost... and lose the unwanted pounds along the way.